Feeling Nostalgic

Why, How and since when....

This is not the first time i'm feeling nostalgic... but its different from previous times... Is it some type of illness? I think it is and the symptoms are:..

1. Can't concentrate on work,
2. Can't concentrate on art,
3. Not comfortable at home,
4. Running away from friends,
5. Can't even stick to this laptop for a 2 hour movie...
6. Loss in energy and enthusiasm that i had a couple of years ago

In such nostalgic phase there is/are some strong desire/s which might kill such feeling. I tried to figure out and right now only thing i can think of is go on a long drive in a car with some music on long drive away from all this... may be i need a break

Still figuring out whats the cause...

Hope this passes soon

Cheers

Yaad...

Aaj kisi ne phir unki yaad dilayi
Aur unki Yaad me humne phir kalam uthayi
Jakhmo ko khuret kar woh kahani
Humne apne aap se phir daurahi

Dard to hota hai magar kya kare
Jina pad raha unhi ke yaad ke sahare
Unhi ki aakhon ko dhund ti rehti hai nighaye
Un Nighaho ko ki talash me fir rahe hai mare mare

Hum jante to nahi yeh ishq ka ehsaas
Magar aapki muskurahat is dil ko hai khaas
Muskurate rehna sada jahan bhi tum jaoge
Par yeh yaad rakhna is dil ke kone me sada tum apne aap ko paoge

Har Saans se tumhare liye dua hi nilegi
Silsila in duaon ka aise hi chalega
Tum itne ho khaas ki tham jaye dhadkan bhi
Aur tham jaye saans bhi,
yeh ruh tumhari salamati chahegi
yeh ruh tumhari salamati chahegi

Blog a punch bag...

A year back i got this lovely thing - laptop. Why did i buy it... its such a pleasure to hit on the keys of my laptop to write something like blog. Why do i blog? I blog because its my friend when nobody's there to listen when humans around my life are less close. There's always family to share your things, your feeling, your joy and sorrow... but not anger and frustration... For me anger should be preserved for right time to come out.

Well my blog posts are result of extreme emotions and today its anger. The day started very dull i came back from home after 3 days vacation had a lot of work...

The things code didn't work and the work kind-of stopped at the workstation :P

Plan to go out for friend's wedding gets canceled because business might come to company during recession.

Then the expected happened it was appraisals and there were points which i totally disagreed to my manager but can't help it because he is my manager. It hurts but what hurts is you cant do anything about it if you try to do it you are screwed by whole upper management because you are opposing someone who knows more, someone who doesn't have faith in his/her juniors, someone who calls you "stupid", someone doesn't says you are a good resource but says you "need improvement in everything", someone who wants me to be a leader by telling me i did good job but others performed better, someone who's help comes with some price.

Ultimately, i come back home and nothing like a boxing punch bag in my room to let out my frustration of all the bad experience of the day or a place to shout aloud so as to let out my frustration... So here i'm punching on my virtual punch bag!

Enough for today may i need to catch some sleep! Lets see if sleep heals these pains